Please just give me one episode
of this God forsaken shitcom where the main plot of each brainless schlepasode isn't
always the unavailability of sexual partners for the Cosmo cover
morons as the caffeinated crowd wallows in its own self pity and
total lack of a relationship of any kind with the world as we mortals know it while
reveling in the fact a future of stupid spinoffs awaits the
gullible baby faced public as a whole.
Try the red light test. If while watching one of these scenarios occurs, take a giant sip
from your industrial oil drum size coffee mug full of whiskey and immediately change the
channel.
Rachel's humble beginnings demonstrates
her lack of understanding life in general
Monica anal-retentively
cleans or straightens up. Phoebe utters a
"Phoebism"
Ross gazes longingly at Rachel's breasts
Joey
doesn't understand something that should be perfectly obvious
Chandler makes a deadpan
smartass response to a stupid comment
Any main character makes a sweeping generalization
about the opposite sex
Anyone mentions or sees Ugly Naked Guy
Any of the main characters drinks any coffee
product The exterior
of Central Perk is shown
The interior of
Chandler's and Joey's apartment is
shown Any of the main
characters' breasts become partially exposed
Any of the main characters are shown at work (They
have jobs?; Rachel only counts if she is wearing her apron or holding a pot of coffee)
Any of the main characters
hug (or an exaggerated hug between any of the guys)
Any of the main characters asks "What's
wrong?" and another answers "Oh, nothing. It's only..." Rachel
quits her job as coffee bimbo and goes back to her "real job" assistant
crack whore
Ross finally goes of the deep end, kills his
monkey and starts picking
lice off Monica
"We're Not Friends"
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